I'll be honest with y'all... it's been rough the last month or so.
This winter we've had a ridiculous amount of extreme cold - manymanymany days & nights of "feels like" temps ranging from -40 to -50 C (for my US peeps that is -40 to -58F).
The cold is bad enough, but when it's that cold the horses and cattle burn through way more hay than normal, and I didn't really have a lot to spare. Which is why I was waiting on some backup cattle hay to be delivered.
Then, because of how cold it was,the backup hay wasn't able to be delivered AND our tractor wasn't starting so I had to dip into my horse hay to feed cows.
All this cold meant anything outdoors was pretty much vetoed, even just hanging out getting some quality time with the horses wasn't really happening.
That's just the critter stuff, it seemed like no matter where I looked there wasn't much to be happy about.
Normally that's a bit of a downer but I've just been feeling SO down. A friend suggested maybe I was suffering from S.A.D. (link here if you're not sure what that is) however it's never been an issue before so I didn't really think that was it. However when I've said in the past that horses (specifically Cessa) have saved my life I'm not joking... I went through a pretty bad spell with depression shortly after high school and she is what got me through.
I've had some down moments throughout the years but nothing that bad in a long time until now. And once again the critters in my life have been what pulled me through. I still don't feel 100% but things are swinging back around and sometimes you just have to choose to be happy and look for the good (and work at it)**
**this is in NO way meant to discount those that are suffering from depression severe enough to need meds, in fact I probably should have been on meds just after high school**
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OUCH! Actually, not really... it was Mrs Mom that kicked me. lol She passed on the "Six Things You Don't Know About Me" tag. ...
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Yes Heaven has a new horse joining the herd... This big, strong, loyal buckskin galloped over the bridge tonight I know his cowboy will mi...
this winter has had me in a case of the "Januaries" since about November , I too draw strength, peace, and comfort from my horses, but I also up my vitamin D for the winter, and working in Mental Health I do see a real change in folks in the colder darker times of year. Depression is no different than any other health condition it can and does affect so many, if you are OK without meds great, but if that should change and you need help , it OK too. after all I am on meds for my health issues,(Lupus ,RA, Fibro) and there should be no more stigma attached to depression medication than there is to mine . (which by the way chronic pain can also lead to depression ) . OK I will get off my soap box now, and send you and big cyber hug! Spring will come my friend, I wish you joy peace, and the occasional free Starbucks!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! Sorry to hear that you are/were having a hard time. I hope you are feeling back to your regular self soon...
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I officially have SAD, but I actually got one of those lights from Costco...not sure if it is helping yet, but it can't hurt. Living in the dark and cold for months on end is really hard.
I am burning through hay too (no cows to worry about, but still!) and it is tough. I thought I had enough to get me to May, but I'll be lucky to make it through Feb. Going to have to get hunting to find some more...
I think sometimes you have to look around, I believe you are right to feel a little down, you've had some really awful weather, you're stressed about the feed, not enough light in the day, it's dreary, there are a lot of reason to not feel so feakin;' happy, that's OK. As long as you can keep putting one foot forward and actually look forward to better days, that's a good thing. I think when you really start feeling hopeless and can't find anything good about anything, then it's time to worry. Obviously, this is my uneducated opinion, but it makes sense to me. We will climb out of this horrible winter and darkness. I am also feeling pretty down, but I have reason's for it, things aren't that great right now, but Fred seems to manage to perk me up, I am so grateful for that. Animals are such amazing pick-me-ups. I look forward to better days ahead. Hang in there, it will get better. :)
ReplyDeleteAwww big, warm hugs to you from AZ. I would send you some old-fashioned Vitamin D if I could...better yet, you should just pop in for a long weekend visit and soak it up firsthand. :-)
ReplyDeleteI do hear ya on the hay situation. It's always nervewrecking to see the hay pile rapidly dwindle and especially so when you know you have a lot of hard winter left ahead of you.
Everyone down here in AZ is already nervous about this coming year and what it could do to hay prices. They have had above normal temps this winter and NO moisture. There has been no rain at all and there is no snow on the mountains. There won't be any run off for them. :-(
Hope things continue to look up though. It's almost February after all. You are on the downhill slide now. :-)