Pardon me...

but I'm having a bit of a pity party right now.

I'm sitting out on SBRA Provincial Finals.  It seems like it just was NOT in the cards for me to run this year.
First I only had one horse qualified, Voodoo.  And then he came up sore.  As in he was a total roaring A-hole sore.  Turns out he had good reason, he was out in his wither and really sore through the rib cage so to have an absolute fit when I tried to mount made sense.  He is feeling better and is forgiven.  And he probably would have been okay to go if *I* had been okay (more on that in a moment)
Applejack wasn't qualified; between not having a saddle that fit for almost a year and battling soreness issues he wasn't in shape soon enough to get to enough jackpots.  The good news, we have a saddle and I think his soreness is resolving.  I had been thinking he was IR or borderline IR.  Well after a farrier switch and a good look at his feet I'm thinking that yes he may be borderline IR but most of his problem was how his feet were being trimmed.  (oh and THAT is a post in itself!)
Lefta wasn't qualified because she's too green.  I'll be exhibitioning her this year and hopefully hitting jackpots by spring.

On to me... first I didn't get a lot of riding in because I was having really bad pain in my arm/elbow.  The doctor said it was basically tennis elbow, who'da thunk that would hurt so bad?  (Thank you Smudge)
But for quite awhile I couldn't lift anything heavier than a mug of coffee (and there were days that that was too much)  Riding was pretty limited, and when I did ride it was Lefta or Voodoo as they're the softest.
Now here is the kicker, I ended up having to medical out of finals because of my ear.  How freaking wussy does THAT sound?!  But really it is pretty bad.
I have a history of ear infections.  For the last two or three years things have been pretty good.  But before that, oh man I had so many.  And each time my doctor would say "Next time you come in with an ear infection I'm referring you to a specialist"  Problem was she never did.
Last week my right ear was bothering me.  I thought I just had an ear ache because I had been out in the wind and hadn't put cotton in my ear.  Then it went from aching to a full grown "omigosh I want to cry/vomit" kind of pain.  Thursday I went into the minor emergency clinic and the doctor said not only is it infected but my ear drum is ruptured.  We talked about my history and he wrote up a referral to a specialist.  When I told him I'd need a note in case I had to medical out of a competition I had entered with my horse in a few days his exact words were "Oh you should be okay to ride unless it's something crazy like barrel racing"

*sob*

I just looked at him and said "Saskatchewan BARREL racing provincial finals" he immediately started writing a note.  He did tell me to play it by ear (my wording, sorry lame & punny) and IF I was feeling okay I could still run.  However the burst ear drum causes vertigo, dizziness,nausea, extreme headaches and a very stiff neck.  Saturday I tried to take a short cut and climb over a fence, I nearly spun off the top.  Sunday I tried to get on a horse just to walk, no go.  Monday Pie & I were running errands in the city and he took a corner in the Explorer a bit fast and I felt like I was a goner.  SO yeah, I wasn't going to be running barrels.
It feels VERY weird to be at finals watching friends and not running :(  But hopefully I'll be okay in time to get myself prepared for district finals (end of August)  What I'm hoping for even more is that I regain my hearing in that ear, well at least to what it was before (my hearing is already a bit compromised)