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Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened.

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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Regarding the Twitter post

I wasn't going to do a post on my recent Twitter comment (re the family tragedy). But I've had a few comments/e-mails regarding it so I wanted to set the record straight and reassure you that Pie, our critters and myself are all fine.
(well Pie has a cold and due to his history with "colds" he's going to the doc on Wednesday)

I would probably not continue on any further with the explanation except that what DID happen is in my head and I need an outlet for it. Now this is going to get personal and real, and isn't a pretty story. I'm not seeking attention or sympathy I just need to try to clear my head.

Last Monday, January 3rd, Pie & I were enjoying our day off together and doing errands in the city. We had plans to go out to my mom & stepdad's for supper that night as they had a rare Monday off (or more accurately the Tuesday off and therefore they could have company Monday night). I was waiting in the car while Pie ran into Home Depot to grab some nails for Stepdad's air nailer. When he came back he got in the car and said "I can't go to your mom's I have to work tonight. Sofia died, she was killed."
I immediately thought of my year old niece and was in shock. He must have realized who I was thinking of because as I chocked out a "What?!" He said "Not little Sofia, Napoleon's Sofia." Sofia was Pie's cousin.
All we knew at that time was that she had been hit by a "water delivery" truck (the company has managed to keep their name out of the news, although we know which company it was). As tends to happen rumours ran rampant that day and the next. First it was she was hit in the street, then you hear the sidewalk, then the parking lot...
I was okay for about 15-20 minutes as Pie drove us home. Then the news came on the radio and when they mentioned that her body was still in the middle of the road (one of our city's busiest roads) I just started to cry. I understand the police need to do their job, and part of that involves measurements and photos and so they were not able to remove her from the scene immediately, it just got to me. That and the way the announcer made it sound like the big part of the story was the inconvenience to driver's being re-routed around the accident.
It turns out that what did happen was that Sofia was leaving the grocery store where she worked and taking something to the grocery store across the street. The driver of the delivery truck was waiting to turn onto the street, its a busy street and can be hard to get onto sometimes. He must not have seen her standing on the edge of the sidewalk, as he turned onto the street he hit her and she was dragged into the road.
He didn't even realize he'd hit her as he drove off. He had no idea until someone flagged him down and told him, at which point he returned.
Sofia was very small, I believe not even 4'5 (and yes that may be part of why she wasn't seen by the driver). She had a brain tumor when she was very young and went through surgeries and radiation.  She was not supposed to live past 2, she was 34 when she was killed.
I'm sure that driver is going through hell trying to process what happened. He's a young guy, just 22 or 24 and had just recently started the job.  This will be with him the rest of his life.  One of the uncles went to talk to him and his family, to offer his reassurance that the family knows it was an accident and bears no ill will toward him.
I wasn't that close to Sofia (with our lifestyle, the restaurant, its hard to get to know people) but what I did know of her is that she was a very special person. Life had thrown a lot of challenges in her path but she always had a smile and a kind word.
I think what makes it so hard for me is the little coincidences, like that my BIL had just seen her that morning. And that I was blocks away when the accident happened. In fact I watched as one of the police cars was trying to get down the road to respond. It had its lights and sirens going and people were so slow to move out of the way, I remember thinking "heaven forbid you get out of the way, what if it were YOUR friend of family they were trying to help?!"
Then there are those wheels in my mind that just won't slow down. I keep questioning things... Did she see it coming? Did she die instantly or was she aware as she was dragged into the street?
It doesn't help that the family is talking about it a lot, and that our customers keep offering condolences and talking about it. And there are more details that are just too morbid/disturbing to share.  Maybe taking the time to put this in writing will help quiet my mind.
The prayer service is tomorrow and the funeral is Tuesday. Although I'm sure it will be a closed casket I do know what she'll be wearing, a wedding dress. It is Greek tradition that an unmarried woman be buried in a wedding dress as she will now be God's bride.
I thank those of you that I do know enough to have talked to abou this, whether its been on the phone, in person, or even those brief Facebook and e-mail msgs.  Your kind words and thoughts mean a lot.

19 comments:

  1. sorry to hear about your families loss, what a sad tragedy. Thoughts are with you...

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  2. I'm so sorry, honey. Big hugs to you and your family. I hope typing it out has helped release some of that internal pressure and stress. I wish I had some words of wisdom that would magically erase the pain, shock, and stress. But that's God's job; all in His time. Just know we love you!

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. That is just terrible. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

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  4. I don't comment here often so was unsure whether or not to on such a difficult post and time for you .I will only say so sorry for your loss.

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  5. I am truly sorry for your loss, this is a most tragic situation

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  6. I'm so very sorry for your loss. What a tragic accident.

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  7. Sorry for your loss - accidents are so horrible to deal with for everyone involved...

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  8. I am very sorry for the loss in your family - that is a terrible thing and a great tragedy.

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  9. Sorry for your family's loss. It's human nature to ask all those sorts of questions, though we're more often left with more questions than answers. I hope you are able to find peace of mind.

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  10. I am so sorry Lisa!

    I was on and off line all weekend, I had no idea. I pray that she didn't know what happened, and pray that you and your family can find some peace somewhere after this tragic accident. I hope you're not feeling guilty about not getting to know her better, I was kinda picking up on that in your post - we all do the best we can today, that's all we can do. You are a good person and I know what you guys are feeling - I'm so sorry. ((((HUGS))))

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  11. As someone who has lost a family member to being run over by an automobile, I can sympathize with the shock and the questions that arise, and the overwhelming sense of sorrow. God bless all of your family who are grieving. I love the Greek tradition regarding the wedding dress; how comforting to think of her as the bride of Christ.

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  12. Our thoughts are prayers are with every one up there CDN. I'm around if you need me - you know how to get me.

    Much love to you, Pie, and the entire family.

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  13. What a sad thing, My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  14. A very sad tragedy L...and probably a very strange feeling knowing you were that close to it. I'm sorry for your family's loss.

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  15. How ironic she should survive brain cancer as a child only to be killed by a truck. I know that life is unfair but there is just something so extreme in the unfairness of this, it makes me sick. Maybe it is my personal experience with my child's survival from brain cancer AND its treatment that makes this absurdity so apparent to me.

    Grief is difficult for all of us but sometimes the details add so much more "stuff." I can understand the complexity of it and your need to sort it out.

    If posting helps, go for it. I, for one, will be supportive of whatever you chose. Hand in there.

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  16. I have not been on the blogs in a few days, so I just read this. I am so sorry this has happened to your family....what an unbelievable story! It says so much about your family that they are comforting the poor young man who was driving the delivery van. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please do not torture yourself with questions....

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  17. (((CDNCOWGIRL))))) hugs to you and your family :(

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