(well Pie has a cold and due to his history with "colds" he's going to the doc on Wednesday)
I would probably not continue on any further with the explanation except that what DID happen is in my head and I need an outlet for it. Now this is going to get personal and real, and isn't a pretty story. I'm not seeking attention or sympathy I just need to try to clear my head.
Last Monday, January 3rd, Pie & I were enjoying our day off together and doing errands in the city. We had plans to go out to my mom & stepdad's for supper that night as they had a rare Monday off (or more accurately the Tuesday off and therefore they could have company Monday night). I was waiting in the car while Pie ran into Home Depot to grab some nails for Stepdad's air nailer. When he came back he got in the car and said "I can't go to your mom's I have to work tonight. Sofia died, she was killed."
I immediately thought of my year old niece and was in shock. He must have realized who I was thinking of because as I chocked out a "What?!" He said "Not little Sofia, Napoleon's Sofia." Sofia was Pie's cousin.
All we knew at that time was that she had been hit by a "water delivery" truck (the company has managed to keep their name out of the news, although we know which company it was). As tends to happen rumours ran rampant that day and the next. First it was she was hit in the street, then you hear the sidewalk, then the parking lot...
I was okay for about 15-20 minutes as Pie drove us home. Then the news came on the radio and when they mentioned that her body was still in the middle of the road (one of our city's busiest roads) I just started to cry. I understand the police need to do their job, and part of that involves measurements and photos and so they were not able to remove her from the scene immediately, it just got to me. That and the way the announcer made it sound like the big part of the story was the inconvenience to driver's being re-routed around the accident.
It turns out that what did happen was that Sofia was leaving the grocery store where she worked and taking something to the grocery store across the street. The driver of the delivery truck was waiting to turn onto the street, its a busy street and can be hard to get onto sometimes. He must not have seen her standing on the edge of the sidewalk, as he turned onto the street he hit her and she was dragged into the road.
He didn't even realize he'd hit her as he drove off. He had no idea until someone flagged him down and told him, at which point he returned.
Sofia was very small, I believe not even 4'5 (and yes that may be part of why she wasn't seen by the driver). She had a brain tumor when she was very young and went through surgeries and radiation. She was not supposed to live past 2, she was 34 when she was killed.
I'm sure that driver is going through hell trying to process what happened. He's a young guy, just 22 or 24 and had just recently started the job. This will be with him the rest of his life. One of the uncles went to talk to him and his family, to offer his reassurance that the family knows it was an accident and bears no ill will toward him.
I wasn't that close to Sofia (with our lifestyle, the restaurant, its hard to get to know people) but what I did know of her is that she was a very special person. Life had thrown a lot of challenges in her path but she always had a smile and a kind word.
I think what makes it so hard for me is the little coincidences, like that my BIL had just seen her that morning. And that I was blocks away when the accident happened. In fact I watched as one of the police cars was trying to get down the road to respond. It had its lights and sirens going and people were so slow to move out of the way, I remember thinking "heaven forbid you get out of the way, what if it were YOUR friend of family they were trying to help?!"
Then there are those wheels in my mind that just won't slow down. I keep questioning things... Did she see it coming? Did she die instantly or was she aware as she was dragged into the street?
It doesn't help that the family is talking about it a lot, and that our customers keep offering condolences and talking about it. And there are more details that are just too morbid/disturbing to share. Maybe taking the time to put this in writing will help quiet my mind.
The prayer service is tomorrow and the funeral is Tuesday. Although I'm sure it will be a closed casket I do know what she'll be wearing, a wedding dress. It is Greek tradition that an unmarried woman be buried in a wedding dress as she will now be God's bride.
I thank those of you that I do know enough to have talked to abou this, whether its been on the phone, in person, or even those brief Facebook and e-mail msgs. Your kind words and thoughts mean a lot.