It's funny how horses can do that. My confidence has never been super high, and from time to time something will happen that makes all of us take a step back and look at your horse life. My biggest 'stumble' as far as confidence was the whole debacle with Quinn. My confidence in myself as a horse person was at an all time low but thankfully I rebuilt and ended up more confident than before. However there are times and horses that bring you down a peg and for me recently that is Tavi.
He's not a bad horse but the two of us together are like firecrackers. We just set each other on edge, maybe if he was my only horse I'd dedicate more time to working through things but I have plenty of others to ride which makes it really hard to chose the tough horse, especially when horses are my "fun" thing.
(don't get me wrong, there are plenty of challenging times with the others!) ;)
Tavi is six now and not getting used anywhere near enough and I hate to see him wasting as a pasture ornament, especially as he's matured into a really nice looking horse that seems to have more athletic ability than what I would have thought if you'd asked me about him a year ago. He was bought to be Hubster's horse, but that's not quite working out either. Hubs has medical issues that have become very serious these last few months. Not to mention he never did find time for more riding lessons, which he would need with a green broke horse. So last year I had decided I wanted to sell Tavi. Hubster didn't agree, and as it was his horse I agreed to keep him and try some more.
Coach put another month on him for me. I rode him at her place (I also take lessons with her) and he was fine but something just didn't feel right. Then I tried to ride him at home and it was fireworks again. aargh!!
Now here's where the confidence takes a hit... I really don't know why Tavi and I have such a bad relationship. Actually to be specific it's a bad riding relationship, we're fine on the ground. Other people ride him, and some are not very good riders, and everything is fine. As a matter of fact a friend got on him after he'd been sitting since last fall and he was peachy keen. That kind of thing really makes you take a look at yourself, am I that bad a rider?! Are my other horses just way more patient or forgiving than him and put up with me? Very humbling.
Instead I choose to think that it's like any other relationship... not every pairing of people get along, even when both of them are lovely people... not all horses get along with each other... not every rider and every horse get along.
So where is this all going? After all this Hubster has finally agreed that IF the right situation were to come along Tavi could move on and through a twist of fate that might just be happening. So while my confidence has taken a hit it's also about to be challenged and hopefully like last time I'll have come out with more confidence!